This is not a post with any answers, but more an introspection I would like to share with all of you in case it helps myself and anyone else out-here..

First I would like to ask myself: Is it really “burn out” feeling or boredom?

There is a big difference and It seems like it can be easy to confuse, because boredom of a repetitive or unchallenging job can make you feel like you are extra tired when in fact your brain is simply bored, unexcited and unmotivated.

As I am writing this I am identifying that I don’t really feel burned out, like when you have worked your ass off for 16 hrs a day on a project, idea or business for an x amount of time (could be months of years) and you can not see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you feel like your mind, body and spirit can not give anything else; That, is the burn out feeling.

In this case I am simply questioning my present, I am questioning if what I do to make money and support myself is fulfilling me. Yes, I work at a great company, with challenges and areas of improvement but all in all, a great company to work for, and it feels like my career is being developed and in constant growth. But, why have I constantly been looking for more projects, ideas and business to do “on the side”?

Why is my job not enough to make me feel fulfilled and excited? Should I simply change roles within my company? or should I take the risk and launch my own ideas investing my savings and time in something uncertain?
What is the rigth thing to do and when?

Lately I have been questioning myself on what do I want to do for living. I am certain that anything I decide to do has to produce money to support myself and contribute to my family. That is simply how I am the most happy it is my decision as a woman to always be independent and always develop professionally so my partner keeps admiring me through the years as much as I keep admiring him. I actually believe this applies in every way not only in the professional field. One should always continue to learn, to grow, to evolve, to become a better person as time passes by, maybe as a consequence we choose partners with the same development, then it becomes more possible to keep a relationship through the challenges that time brings.

That being said, I am certain that no matter what, what I decide to do for living has to produce some monetary value. But now (I don’t know if it is because of my age) I feel like it is not enough to have a job that makes money, I feel that I need to have a job that makes me feel excited, fulfilled and extremely motivated, and most times that all happens when I am new at a company, everything is new, there is so much to learn, and that itself makes me excited and motivated, then when the learning curve is coming down, I feel completely unmotivated and start questioning the impact of my profesional life in the world or my transcendence.

Maybe it is my ADHD, that makes me want to change activities, jobs, even hobbies so much and so fast. But what I know is that I can not spend too much time in the “confort zone” where I know how everything works, I understand every process and the job becomes “easy” and boring. That is my que to RUN.

Now I feel more mature and I don’t simply want to run to the next shiny job that encounters me. This time I am taking some time at my current job but analyzing every day what do I want.

  • Do I want to build my own products, business model and mkt strategy to grow them into a business? (with all the learning I have gotten in the past years)
  • Do I want to do my 200hr yoga teacher training and teach in person and online?
  • Do I want to give consulting about ecommerce or digital mkt to big companies that pay really well?
  • Do I want to work as a freelancer in webdevelopment and be able to travel and work from wherever I am?
  • Do I want to move to hawaii and build a coding school for children ?
  • Do I want to stay at the awesome company I work for and simply change roles into a new exciting area?

The reality is that I don’t know 😦 and I really hope to resolve this in the next couple months. But what I can do right now Is to keep questioning myself and let every idea in, not disregarding any idea just because it could sound too crazy or out of place. I will commit with myself to keep my mind open and give space for exploring what is it that I would like to do next.

In the end all we have is our present and we must do what makes us happy while we are responsible with ourselves, our loved ones and people around us.
I hope you are also giving yourself the space and opportunity to explore and understand what is it that you would like to be doing right now.

see you at my IG stories πŸ˜‰Β @TheYogiCoder


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